[rfk-dev] Find kitten on old computers lurking in your closet!

[Neale Pickett]

So then, Gary Benson <gary@inauspicious.org> is all like:

> A while back I had a go at compressing the NKIs down but I never got
> much smaller than 6k.  No RFK entry in the 1k game competition then :(

Dang, you're right.  I just had a go at it too, and only got down to
46590 bits (6655 7-bit bytes) before applying gzip.

Maybe if we combined tricks we could get better compression?  Here's
what I did:

*  Make everything caps
*  Replace the string "A " with a new letter: @
*  Replace the string "IT" with a new letter: #
*  Replace the string "S " with a new letter: %
*  Replace " with '
*  Restrict alphabet to 32 letters (translate or removing some NKI)
*  Remove all trailing periods
*  Remove all spaces after !, ?, and .

So if you pack 5-bit values, my trimmed NKI list still comes out as
46590 bits.

Lempel-Ziv, of course, does a much better job than I at this kind of
thing.  But if we can find a few more ways to squeeze bytes out, we may
be able to trim a reasonably long list of NKI down enough to squeeze it
on an Atari.

If we could find some sucker to port it, that is :)

Here's my translated NKI list.  By the way, the fact that this email
constitutes more bytes than three Atari cartridges blows me away.  It
also makes me pretty angry that I was paying, like, $80 for those
things.  (I wonder how many bytes were in that horrid ET cartridge?)


'I P#Y THE FOOL WHO MISTAKE%ME FOR K#TEN!',SAYS MR.T
#'%AN ALTAR TO THE HORSE GOD
#'%AN OLD DUKE ELLINGTON RECORD
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS,BUT #'%NOT K#TEN
@COAT HANGER HOVER%IN THIN AIR.ODD
@FRESHLY-BAKED PUMPKIN PIE
@LONE,FORGOTTEN COMMA,S#%HERE,SOBBING
ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND CARPET FIBERS!!!!!
#'%LUCY RICARDO.'AAAAH,RICKY!' SHE SAYS
YOU STUMBLE UPON BILL GATES' STAND-UP ACT
#'%ANOTHER ROBOT,MORE ADVANCED IN DESIGN THAN YOU BUT STRANGELY IMMOBILE
LEONARD RICHARDSON I%HERE,ASKING PEOPLE TO LICK HIM
#'%@STUPID MASK,FASHIONED AFTER @BEAGLE
#'%THE LOCAL DRAFT BOARD
ONE OF THOSE STUPID 'HOME%OF THE STARS' MAPS
@SIGNPOST SAYING 'TO K#TEN'.# POINT%IN NO PARTICULAR DIRECTION
@HAMMOCK STRETCHED BETWEEN @TREE AND @VOLLEYBALL POLE
#'%@DARK,AMPHOROU%BLOB OF MATTER
@BADLY DENTED HIGH-HAT CYMBAL LIE%ON #%SIDE HERE
@PLUSH CHEWBACCA
DAILY HUNGER COND#IONER FROM AUSTRALASIA
@GLORIOU%FAN OF PEACOCK FEATHERS
#'%SOME COMPROMISING PHOTO%OF BABAR THE ELEPHANT
@COPY OF THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS.WATCH OUT FOR THE CHAMBERED NAUTILUS!
#'%THE PROVERBIAL WET BLANKET
PAUL MOYER'%NECKTIE
AN AUTOMATED ROBOT-HATER.# FROWN%DISAPPROVINGLY AT YOU
AN AUTOMATED ROBOT-LIKER.# SMILE%AT YOU
#'%@BLACK HOLE.DON'T FALL IN!
HEART OF DARKNES%BRAND PISTACHIO NUTS
AN ABANDONED USED-CAR LOT
@CAN OF SPAM L#E
THI%I%ANOTHER FINE MES%YOU'VE GOTTEN U%INTO,STANLEY
#'%SCENERY FOR 'WA#ING FOR GODOT'
THI%GRAIN ELEVATOR TOWER%HIGH ABOVE YOU
@MENTO%WRAPPER
#'%THE CONSTELLATION PISCES
#'%@FLY ON THE WALL.HI,FLY!
THI%KIND OF LOOK%LIKE K#TEN,BUT #'%NOT
@HELICOPTER HA%CRASHED HERE
CARLO%TARANGO STAND%HERE,DOING HI%BEST IMPRESSION OF PAT SMEAR
@PATCH OF MUSHROOM%GROW%HERE
@SPINDLE,AND @GRINDLE,AND @BUCKA-WACKA-WOOM!
@GEYSER SPRAY%WATER HIGH INTO THE AIR
YOU'VE FOUND THE FISH!NOT THAT # DOE%YOU MUCH GOOD IN THI%GAME
@BUTTERTONSIL%BAR
ONE OF THE FEW REMAINING DISCOES
AH,THE UNIFORM OF @REVOLUTIONARY-ER@MINUTEMAN
@PUNCH BOWL,FILLED W#H PUNCH AND LEMON SLICES
#'%NOTHING BUT @G-THANG,BABY
#'%ALIVE!AH H@H@H@HA!
THI%WA%NO BOATING ACCIDENT!
@LIVERY STABLE!GET YOUR LIVERY!
#'%@PERPETUAL IMMOBIL#Y MACHINE
@TRIBE OF CANNIBAL%LIVE%HERE.THEY EAT MALT-O-MEAL FOR BREAKFAST,YOU KNOW
THI%APPEAR%TO BE @RATHER LARGE STACK OF TRASHY ROMANCE NOVELS
@HERD OF WILD COFFEE MUG%SLUMBER%HERE
@VASE FULL OF ARTIFICIAL FLOWER%I%STUCK TO THE FLOOR HERE
@LARGE SNAKE BAR%YOUR WAY
@PAIR OF SALOON-STYLE DOOR%SWING SLOWLY BACK AND FORTH HERE
#'%TV'%LOVABLE WISECRACKING CROW!'B#E ME!',HE SAYS
@FLAMBOYANT FEATHER BOA.NOW YOU CAN DRES%UP LIKE CAROL CHANNING!
'TOPSOIL'%ALL GONE,MA,' WEEP%LIL' GREG
THI%I%@LARGE BROWN BEAR.ODDLY ENOUGH,#'%CURRENTLY PEEING IN THE WOODS
@TRASH COMPACTOR,COMPACTING AWAY
THI%TOASTER STRUDEL I%RIDDLED W#H BULLET HOLES!
#'%@HOLOGRAM OF @CRASHED HELICOPTER
THI%I%@TELEVISION.ON SCREEN YOU SEE @ROBOT STRANGELY SIMILAR TO YOURSELF
THI%BALOGN@HA%@FIRST NAME,#'%R-A-N-C-I-D
#'%@RIM SHOT.BA-DA-BOOM!
#'%CREEPY AND #'%KOOKY,MYSTERIOU%AND SPOOKY.#'%ALSO SOMEWHAT OOKY
THI%I%AN ANAGRAM
#'%@SYMBOL.YOU SEE IN # @MODEL FOR ALL SYMBOL%EVERYWHERE
'THERE I%NO K#TEN!' CACKLE%THE OLD CRONE.YOU ARE SHOCKED BY HER BLASPHEMY
THI%I%@LAGRANGE POINT.DON'T COME TOO CLOSE NOW
THE DIRTY OLD TRAMP BEMOAN%THE LOS%OF HI%HARMONICA
LOOK,#'%FANNY THE IRISHMAN!
#'%THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR @PREVIOU%VERSION OF THI%GAME
@BRAIN CELL.ODDLY ENOUGH,# SEEM%TO BE FUNCTIONING
THI%I%@REMOTE CONTROL.BEING @ROBOT,YOU KEEP @WIDE BERTH
#'%@ROLL OF INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH COPPER WIRE
OH BOY!GRUB!ER,GRUBS
@PUDDLE OF MUD,WHERE THE MUDSKIPPER%PLAY
PLENTY OF NOTHING
LOOK AT THAT,#'%THE CRUDMOBILE
AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF 'PRIMARY COLORS',BY ANONYMOUS
#'%@SEGMENTATION FAULT.CORE DUMPED,BY THE WAY
THAR'%MOBIU%DICK,THE CONVOLUTED WHALE.ARRR!
@SECTION OF GLOWING PHOSPHOR CELL%SING%@SONG OF RADIATION TO YOU
@TOILET BOWL OCCUPIE%THI%SPACE
THI%PEG-LEG I%STUCK IN @KNOTHOLE!
#'%@SOL#ARY VACUUM TUBE
THI%CORRODED ROBOT I%CLUTCHING @M#TEN
'HI,I'M ANSON WILLIAMS,TV'%'POTSY'.'
THREE HALF-PENNIE%AND @WOODEN NICKEL
#'%THE MISSING CHAPTER TO '@CLOCKWORK ORANGE'
THI%SMILING FAMILY I%HAPPY BECAUSE THEY EAT LARD
ROGER AVERY,PERSON@UN FAMOSO DE LO%ESTADO%UNIDOS
NE'ER BUT @POTTED PLANT
@PARROT,KIPPING ON #%BACK
@FORGOTTEN TELEPHONE SW#CHBOARD
@FORGOTTEN TELEPHONE SW#CHBOARD OPERATOR
#'%AN AUTOMATED ROBOT-DISDAINER.# PRETEND%YOU'RE NOT THERE
#'%@PORTABLE HOLE.@SIGN READS,'CLOSED FOR THE WINTER'
#'%@COPY OF 'THE RUBAIYAT OF SPIKE SCHUDY'
@WILLING,RIPE TOMATO BEMOAN%YOUR INABIL#Y TO DIGEST FRU#
@ROBOT COMEDIAN.YOU FEEL AMUSED
#'%K#T,THE TALKING CAR
HERE'%PETE PETERSON.HI%BATTERIE%SEEM TO HAVE LONG GONE DEAD
'BLUP,BLUP,BLUP',SAY%THE MUD POT
MORE GRIST FOR THE MILL
GRIND 'EM UP,SP# 'EM OUT,THEY'RE TWIGS
#'%'FINDING K#TEN',PUBLISHED BY O'REILLY AND ASSOCIATES
PUMPKIN PIE SPICE
'LEND U%@FIVER 'TIL THURSDAY',PLEA%ANDY CAPP
YOU'VE FOUND THE FABLED AMERIC@ONLINE DISK GRAVEYARD!
ED MCMAHON STAND%HERE,LOST IN THOUGHT.SEEING YOU,HE BELLOWS,'YE%SIR!'
THE LETTER%O AND R
@MAGICAL...MAGIC THING
#'%@MOMENT OF SILENCE
#'%SIRHAN-SIRHAN,LOOKING GUILTY
#'%'CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE K#TEN-SEEKING SOULLES%ROBOT.'
# I%@SET OF WIND-UP CHATTER TEETH
YOU SEE @SNOWFLAKE HERE,MELTING SLOWLY
VLADIMIR LENIN'%CASKET REST%HERE
@TRAIN OF THOUGHT CHUG%THROUGH HERE
SOMEONE'%IDENT#Y DISK LIE%HERE
'YES!' SAY%THE B#
'NO!' SAY%THE B#
@DODECAHEDRON BAR%YOUR WAY
MR.HOOPER I%HERE,SURFING
#'%@BIG SMOKING FISH
#'%@ROTTEN OLD SHOE
#'%@HUNDRED-DOLLAR BILL
#'%@DVORAK KEYBOARD
@BROKEN METRONOME S#%HERE,#'%NEEDLE OFF TO ONE SIDE
@SIGN READS,'GO HOME!'
@SIGN READS,'NO ROBOT%ALLOWED!'
#'%THE HANDHELD ROBOTFINDSK#TEN GAME,BY TIGER
THI%PARTICULAR MONSTROS#Y APPEAR%TO BE ENIAC
THI%I%@TASTY-LOOKING BANAN@CREME PIE
@WIREFRAME MODEL OF @HOT DOG ROTATE%IN SPACE HERE
YOU DISTURB @MURDER OF CROWS
#'%@COPY OF THE ROBOTFINDSK#TEN EULA
#'%DEATH
#'%AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY OF 'SECONDARY COLORS,' BY BOB ROSS
#'%@DVD OF 'CROUCHING MONKEY,HIDDEN K#TEN',REGION ENCODED FOR THE MOON
CARBONATED WATER,HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP,COLOR,PHOSPHORIC ACID,FLAVORS,CAFFEINE
'MOVE ALONG!NOTHING TO SEE HERE!'
#'%THE EMBALMED CORPSE OF VLADIMIR LENIN
@COUPON FOR ONE FREE STEAK-FISH AT YOUR LOCAL FAMILY DINER
SOMEONE HA%WR#TEN 'AD AERARIUM' ON THE GROUND HERE
@LARGE BLUE EYE FLOAT%IN MIDAIR
THI%APPEAR%TO BE @STATUE OF PERSEUS
THERE I%AN OPULENT THRONE HERE
@WONDROU%AND INTRICATE GOLDEN AMULET.TOO BAD YOU HAVE NO NECK
THE SWAMPY GROUND AROUND YOU SEEM%TO STINK W#H DISEASE
AN ANIMATE BLOB OF ACID.BEING METALLIC,YOU KEEP WELL AWAY
#'%@COPY OF KNUTH W#H THE CHAPTER ON K#TEN-SEARCH ALGOR#HM%TORN OUT
@CROWD OF PEOPLE,AND AT THE CENTER,@POPULAR MISCONCEPTION
#'%@LOST WALLET.#'%OWNER DIDN'T HAVE PETS,SO YOU DISCARD #
THI%PLACE I%CALLED ANTARCTICA.THERE I%NO K#TEN HERE
#'%@MOUSETRAP,BA#ED W#H SOAP
@BOOK W#H 'DON'T PANIC' IN LARGE FRIENDLY LETTER%ACROS%THE COVER
@COMPENDIUM OF HAIKU ABOUT METALS
@DISCRED#ED COSMOLOGY,RELIC OF @BYGONE ERA
@HOLLOW VOICE SAY%'PLUGH'
@KNIGHT WHO SAY%'E#HER I AM AN INSANE KNAVE,OR YOU WILL FIND K#TEN.'
@SCREWDRIVER
@STATUE OF @GIRL HOLDING @GOOSE LIKE THE ONE IN GOTTINGEN,GERMANY
@VOICE BOOM%OUT 'ONWARD,K#TEN SOLDIERS...'
APPARENTLY,#'%EDMUND BURKE
FOR @MOMENT,YOU FEEL SOMETHING IN YOUR HANDS,BUT # DISAPPEARS!
HERE I%@BOOK ABOUT ROBERT KENNEDY
HEY,ROBOT,LEAVE THOSE LIST%ALONE
HO HUM.ANOTHER SYNTHETIC @POSTERIORI
#'%ASIMOV'%LAW%OF ROBOTICS.YOU FEEL @STRANGE AFFIN#Y FOR THEM
#'%BACH'%MAS%IN B-MINOR!
#'%@BUG
#'%@SYNTHETIC APRIORI TRUTH!IMMANUEL WOULD BE SO PLEASED!
#'%THE TIKI ROOM
SUTRO TOWER I%VISIBLE AT SOME DISTANCE THROUGH THE FOG
THE UN#ED STATE%COURT OF APPEAL%FOR THE FEDERAL CIRCU#
THE NON-K#TEN #EM LIKE THI%BUT W#H 'FALSE' AND 'TRUE' SW#CHED I%TRUE
THE NON-K#TEN #EM LIKE THI%BUT W#H 'TRUE' AND 'FALSE' SW#CHED I%FALSE
THI%I%THE FOREST PRIMEVAL
WERNER'%'POCKET FIELD GUIDE TO THING%THAT ARE NOT K#TEN'
YOU FOUND NETTIK,BUT THAT'%BACKWARDS
'ADDRES%ALLOCATION FOR PRIVATE INTERNETS' BY YAKOV REKHTER ET AL
'MAIL ROUTING AND THE DOMAIN SYSTEM' BY CRAIG PARTRIDGE
'THE THEORY AND PRACTICE OF OLIGARCHICAL COLLECTIVISM' BY EMMANUEL GOLDSTEIN.
@CARD SHARP S#%HERE,PRACTICING HI%FARO SHUFFLE.HE IGNORE%YOU
@LOTUS.YOU MAKE AN INTERESTING PAIR
@MILK CARTON,W#H @BLACK AND WH#E PICTURE OF K#TEN ON THE SIDE
ANY ORDINARY ROBOT COULD SEE FROM @MILE AWAY THAT THI%WASN'T K#TEN
@STEGOSAURUS,ESCAPED FROM THE STEGOSAURUSFINDSROBOT GAME.# FIND%YOU
BALING WIRE AND CHEWING GUM
CHEWING GUM AND BALING WIRE
HERE I%NO K#TEN BUT ONLY ROCK,ROCK AND NO K#TEN AND THE SANDY ROAD
HEY,I BET YOU THOUGHT THI%WA%K#TEN
# I%AN ANCIENT MARINER,AND HE STOPPETH ONE OF THREE
# PLEASE%YOU TO BE KIND TO WHAT APPEAR%TO BE K#TEN -- BUT #'%NOT!
#'%@BUSINES%PLAN FOR @NEW STARTUP,K#TEN.NET
#'%@REVISED BUSINES%PLAN FOR @NEW STARTUP,MY.K#TEN.NET
# SEEM%TO BE @COPY OF '@TAIL OF TWO K#TIES'
#'%THE DONATION OF CONSTANTINE!
#'%THI%MESSAGE,NOTHING MORE
LYSINE,AN ESSENTIAL AMINO ACID.WELL,MAYBE NOT FOR ROBOTS
NO K#TEN HERE
THI%LOOK%LIKE BRADLEY'%'APPEARANCE AND REAL#Y',BUT #'%REALLY NOT
THI%NON-K#TEN #EM NO VERB
YOU FEEL STRANGELY UNFULFILLED
YOU H# THE NON-K#TEN #EM.THE NON-K#TEN #EM FAIL%TO YOWL
YOU SUDDENLY YEARN FOR YOUR DISTANT HOMELAND
YOU'VE FOUND THE SNOW%OF YESTERYEAR!SO THAT'%WHERE THEY ALL WENT TO
FREE DM#RY SKLYAROV!
THI%MAP I%NOT THE TERR#ORY
'GO BACK TO LIBRARIA!',SAY%PAT SCHROEDER
AN OLD BOOTABLE BUSINES%CARD,UNFORTUNATELY CRACKED DOWN THE MIDDLE
IF #'%ONE THING,#'%NOT ANOTHER
IF #'%NOT ONE THING,#'%ANOTHER
@CABOODLE
@GRIN