Stephen stephen at tungol.org
Fri Nov 2 01:28:58 PDT 2012

I looked through the list of changes. From the ones you cut I'm partial to 

A scrap of parchment bears the single word, "meow".
Haven't you touched this thing before?

I was also going to mention a couple of the nethack references that got cut but looking though the master list, there is plenty of nethack still in there.

I also like 'An autographed copy of "Primary Colors", by Anonymous.' for the contradiction of a signed anonymous work - although if that one gets kept I think it should use a different work than Primary Colors - no longer current *or* anonymous. Possibly remove the need for a specific work entirely: 'An autographed copy of the collected works of Anonymous.' or something like that.

I also like "It's an Internet chain letter about sodium laureth sulfate." but I think it'd be better in generic: "An Internet chain letter." or similar

In your new list, you have 'A note reads, "kitten is the letter Q."' rather than 'A hastily scribbled note reads: "Kitten is the letter Q!"' which was suggested before. I rather like the "hastily scribbled" part and I think it's a lot weaker without it. The exclamation mark helps too. This one is better more specific, rather than less.

In "A non-descript box of crackers." nondescript is usually unhyphenated.

There's a stray double quote at the end of 'The non-kitten item like this but with "false" and "true" switched is true."'

There is only one NKI longer than 80 characters, mentioned previously to be a bad idea: 'Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Color, Phosphoric Acid, Flavors, Caffeine.'


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